All relationships are mirrors and our most intense relationships show us the deepest darkest corners of ourselves. My experience was shortly after we started dating but i suddenly had so many fears and trust issues with him. I felt like i couldn’t trust him and all these ego thoughts consumed me constantly. Ever girl he talked to on facebook or in person when we were together i thought he was cheating on me. I was so obsessed with this notion i kept dreaming about it as well. I thought it was true and my mind was soo infused on this idea that i started closing my heart and my mind knew something was going to happen. I still went with the motions of the relationships and soon after he broke up with me and moved to Arizona. Over time after awakening i realized that these dreams were subconscious triggers of myself and my own insecurities and fears of love.
I started having these intense Ego thoughts about cheating and about people not loving me, it was like all my karma came back in a flash, shortly after Adam and I broke up. Long story short i started discovering chakras, As i slowly began to work on healing by forgiveness, i also discovered the first miracle crystal Rose Quartz who helped me see the true love in my heart and how i needed to not only forgive him for breaking up with me but i also needed to severely forgive myself for everything i did to myself throughout the many years of abuse through my physical and emotional self-worth.
But what i realized was that sometimes break ups have to happen in order to grow and learn about yourself. Had he never broke up with me, i would of never awakened to who i am and started this blog! It’s truly amazing to me how synchroncity works. But after awhile he came and we got back together, he told me he would never cheat on me and he strives to be virtuous. So it was like a life flashing moment, that all that obsession with ideas about cheating, jealousy, trust issues it was ALL fear of my own heart and lack of self-love.
So no matter what you choose to do with your own personal situation i just want to say this, Try to lose the fear, if you need space you need space but know everything is a mirror especially our relationships. Relationships are built on trust, honesty, communication and most importantly love. But i bet if you actually sat down and talked this through, you will see these fears are only in your mind, these fears are nothing but illusion and these fears are what is going to not only teach you about yourself but your relationships as well.
If you would of asked me if i ever would have a kid with him back in 2009 i would of laughed, funny how life works out sometimes…I feel like my higher self has been guiding me all this time through the bad and the good.
I hope this helps a little
This was a very touchy subject of mine and full of synchronicity on ‘past wounds’ which goes into the eclipse! so thank you for sharing. It’s also 12:12 😉
sending love <3