I have this problem I find within myself. I have a huge problem self-motivating myself, but it’s gotten far past that. I used to be fiery, independent if you will. Now it’s like I’m scared to make any choices of my own, because I fear failure. Then I bring myself to actually make a choice of my own and stand up for myself, and 90% of the time, I’m wrong, and I make a fool of myself. It’s gotten to the point where I automatically, without even thinking about it, dismiss certain things I need to do that require me speaking up for myself and doing things on my own. Sticky notes aren’t working, nor writing it down anywhere. It literally just escapes my mind, like memories escape trauma patients. My boyfriend tries pushing me to do things, telling me it’s all in my head, and I get so anxious, defensive, and panicky.
What should I do? I’m open to any and all ideas, from crystals to meditation techniques, to just…anything. Thank you.
Well the first thing is that any fear projected into a situation will cause that situation to stop manifesting properly because it will stop the flow of energy. Fear fuels the ego and the ego will cause your mind to project thoughts of doubt, fear and worry to stop the manifestation from succeeding. Manifestations work powerfully within the present so say you’re wanting a new job really really bad but when you go to the interview your mind is projecting thoughts of ‘what if i don’t get it, what if they don’t like me’ what if i’m not good enough for them’ etc. what is your mind doing? it’s convincing itself that you aren’t good enough for this job, they won’t like you, you won’t get it. it produces fear unconsciously.
Self confidence is key. This feels like a solar plexus and throat chakra issue. The solar plexus is the life force, the power within you feeling like you’re the one in control and the throat governs how we express ourselves. When you listen to others opinions, when you don’t express yourself verbally, when you don’t listen to yourself and instead listen to everyone else it causes inefficiency in the throat. The power lies in the thought, you want to be fierce and independent again, it starts with believing that you are that person already 🙂
like i said before carnelian is great for self-motivation and also Citrine is good for the solar plexus and it helps mental clarity if you feel you’re never correct in your assertions. Also I would work on expressing yourself, stopping this fear you have and also listening more within.
hope this helps lovely
~Namaste~
Ash