Awakening and The Edge of Insanity, Why Am I Losing it?

Awakening & The Edge of Insanity

This is part 1 of our 5 part series: Symptoms of Awakening

Part 1 – {You are Here} Awakening & The Edge of Insanity, Why Am I losing it?
Part 2 – Going into the Abyss: The Dark Night of the Soul
Part 3 – The Transition Phase: Spiritual Bliss to Stagnation
Part 4 – The Threshold: The Beauty of Ego Death
Part 5  – The Divine Creator: Crafting the New Identity

Awakening really can put us on the edge of insanity, but this is the point where things drastically start changing in our reality.

I have been receiving outstanding feedback on my page: Symptoms of Awakening: New Ascension Symptoms Post-2013 into the New Paradigm. So for our next series I thought we’d focus more on coping with the symptoms and the developmental stages of the Ascension Process. This will be a five-part article series on the Awakening Journey!

Awhile Back someone wrote a comment that resonated with me:

“What about the part where you go insane no one ever really explains that”.

Well my friend we’re going to explore the ins and outs of this topic.

One of the most mind-altering times on the path is when you start losing your old identity and the death of the old consciousness. However that in-between phase where you’re straddling both worlds is the turning point on your personal journey.

We enter the Crossroads.

The Awakening process is filled with all sorts of twist and turns. The most crippling is probably when you start to grapple with the feeling of losing your mind, literally and figuratively.

The mind is trying to process multiple realities at once which creates a bizarre dissociation.  Dissociation creates the realization that nothing is real or it creates the opposite, I am officially losing my mind, this is crazy!

Awakening is very real. I am here to tell you,

You are not crazy and best of all you are not alone.

The stages often start out fairly innocent, you suddenly crave silence instead of the tv being background noise. It changes more intensely towards wanting to pick up yoga or meditation classes. Then it begins going deeper, obsession with astral projection, new age books, occult, magick and various spiritual practices.

Suddenly shopping is impossible, eating is a nightmare, new revelations, philosophies pour out of you and most of all you feel a deep disconnection. Illusions begin ripping apart at the seams….The ego shouts for conformity as you begin frantically going into a state of denial and comfort.

You begin to ask yourself:

“How Do I get my old life back? This isn’t what I signed up for…”

Awakening & The Edge of Insanity: Why Am I losing it? - The Awakened State. One of the most crippling times on the path is when you come to terms with losing your old identity and the death of the old consciousness. However that in-between phase where you're straddling both worlds is the turning point on the path. Read More Here


As we begin to shed off layers of conditioning, the mind/Ego is ready to fight back holding onto the past identity. What’s peculiar is not only are you feeling you are losing your identity, suddenly you are disconnected from the world you once knew.

You are suddenly disconnected from your old conditioning and ultimately your old reality you grew up in.

The comfort blanket you held onto is gone, the bubble popped.

This is terrifying, often many in this phase truly contemplate their sanity, some seek counsel or even medicine to help them understand what is going on. It not only becomes a dissociative experience, it creates a loss of identity.

You are shedding lifetimes of old conditioning, that is going to take some time to replace.

The edge of insanity is about the ego being intimidated by the new experiences you are having, although you are also “remembering”.

The reason we feel crazy is this is something completely outside of our everyday experiences. The ego sends up a red flag intimidated that there is something outside of my current reality?

This is the ego starting to lose bearings over your consciousness. This process can feel terrifying and unsettling as your feel torn between the old consciousness of duality and the sudden birth of the new consciousness of singularity.

The things you once loved, you suddenly aren’t interested. The mind begins craving different NEW experiences while at the same time, a resistance builds around not being able to let go of the old self. Realizations may come but your mind is screaming, “I WANT MY LIFE BACK!”

The Identity Crisis phase is when all of this starts to become real, however the mind doesn’t know how to accept the new identity and experiences. Therefore the Resistance of the old energy can create a friction of chaos, where you now feel straddled between two worlds of thought.


Symptoms of Awakening Series: The Death of the old Identity vs the birth of the new evolved consciousness


  • I am suddenly unmaterialistic when I loved shopping!
  • The old obsessions I had with TV shows, watching the news or celebrity gossip bore me
  • I crave nature, silence and solitude
  • I find it harder to conform to society
  • I enjoy new studies such as meditation, yoga, mindfulness, spiritual practices and being more present.
  • I cannot focus on linear time.
  • Sudden visions or messages appear before me.
  • My old friendships keep disappearing. I cannot be around the people I once enjoyed hanging out with…
  • I can no longer stomach toxic behavior or relationships. I want out.
  • I find myself in tears and sad even though I cannot explain why?
  • I feel torn on missing a part of me that no longer exists.

Kundalini Symptoms of Awakening: Identity Crisis


What is basically happening is your mind is waking up to who you truly are, this creates a psychosomatic response which results in direct physiological  changes throughout the mental, emotional, spiritual and physical body.

I began noticing there is a pattern to kundalini awakening. People all tend to have different triggers of experience but the symptoms that accompany kundalini awakening are usually quite similar.

Basically the mind feels like it is losing itself because you are ripping away the old consciousness in place of the new evolved consciousness.

Its creating the death of the old soul.

It sounds crazy because it goes against our normal conditioning patterns that we have developed over time. What happens is the mind essentially recreates itself through the mind. So you think all these things are happening to you but in reality they are more symbolic in nature, almost like a dream. You are waking up from a dream.

So your mind begins deconditioning itself from what you know and many face what is known as the dark night of the soul. The Dark Night of the soul is the point where they face an identity crisis. Everything that once interested them starts dissolving. old relationships, old friendships, interests and various old vibrations start dying and the soul urges itself to look inward. It is common to experience this during the process.

Often this can create a state of dissociation where the mind begins facing unconscious wounds that are connected towards our soul blueprint.

Once we start facing these wounds, we trigger the subconscious long-term memory and start activating these hidden strands of dna where we begin remembering who we truly are as conscious beings having a human experience.

Awakening and the edge of insanity: Why am I losing it?

As we transition through the ascension process we are letting go of old thought patterns, old friendships, old relationships, old jobs, all these karmic ties are severing because they no longer match your vibrations.  While the emotional aspects are terrifying at first, this is actually positive in form.

Your mind is releasing the old identity to enter the stage of renewal.

Technically you aren’t really having an identity crisis, you’re finding yourself by digging into your subconscious long-term memory 😉

We must think of it as if you are straddling two different worlds or conflicting realities at once. In a normal human who isn’t awakened this can lead to insanity which is often misunderstood. However during Kundalini awakening we must find the connection between the two worlds, merging them together as one.

The old transforms into the new.

The good news is this will pass in time!

For some it can take years to come to grips with this connection while for others it can take only months. An Awakening is different for every person, although many symptoms are similar the subjective experience may be different as each soul has a different path to take.


The best way to deal with these thoughts of identity crisis, is to stop resisting the new energy coming in.

Push through the resistance. 

How do we do that? We have to be receptively open towards surrendering to our emotional experiences.

This happens through Acceptance, forgiveness and processing our emotions through observation.

If you think about when you are upset, you are stewing in your emotions of the past: “this shouldn’t happen, why did I do that, I shouldn’t of said that…” When you do that, you are resisting the present growth of the experience.

Okay what happens is the more you resist, the more the universe is going to give you that energetic lesson of your past. a sad person is going to stay sad until they CHOOSE to let go of being sad. Simple but extremely effective.


To surrender means to let go completely of the old identity. This is imperative towards the soul’s expansion.

When you’re a teenager you can try to fight becoming a teen by doing childlike things like playing with dolls or throwing fits. However at some point you have to embrace the surrender of new experiences that come with growing up.

This is what the Ascension process is like, the old soul is dying…death isn’t always pretty but it’s essential towards new beginnings. The more you are in a state of mourning your past identity of the old consciousness, the more you will resist the new energy coming through. This is what creates the polarized identity crisis. Torn between two worlds the old identity and the new one. We must Let go of our past identity.

So the best way to cope with this is by surrendering to these experiences.

It is also a good idea to understand what is happening is real and isn’t just you losing your mind which is a common problem many face. A big comfort is by doing your own research through understanding what is happening to you, relating to others experiences{you are never alone} and connecting with people of similar minds who are experiencing what you are.

It’s the death of the ego losing bearings over your consciousness.

However the only way  to make this process smoother you have to STOP RESISTING.

We must accept, let go and surrender to it. Otherwise…if you’re resistant towards change, it’s going to be a very bumpy ride.

When it comes to the Ascension symptoms, I think we really need someone to tell us calmly:

“it’s okay, RELAX, sit back and enjoy the ride” 🙂

Symptoms of Awakening series Part 2:
Going into the Abyss: Dark Night of the Soul

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